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The Angry Geologist Can't Make This Up
Feb. 11th, 2009 06:43 pmOne of my sites had a round of soil samples taken on it last July. The results just came back. The reason for the delay?
They had to full decon the lab for radiation. Twice. Guys said it was the hottest stuff they ever worked with.
I got bit by a tick while I was out there. I'm taking suggestions for superhero names now for when my powers manifest.
They had to full decon the lab for radiation. Twice. Guys said it was the hottest stuff they ever worked with.
I got bit by a tick while I was out there. I'm taking suggestions for superhero names now for when my powers manifest.
The Angry Geologist Works for Peanuts
Feb. 10th, 2009 07:26 pmSo today, two major things happened.
First, they closed another peanut plant down in Texas. This one made roasted and granulated peanuts as well as peanut butter.
Second, I made Kung Pao Chicken for dinner- it was one of those kits. And in the kit was a bag of dry roasted peanuts that I was supposed to cook in the stir fry with the chillies. The two threads of that conversation came together in my brain as I pulled them out of the package, the chicken and veggies already cooking on the stove.
Where did they come from? Were they part of this Peanut Corporation deal? Where were they grown? Where were they roasted? Was the factory safe? A glance at the label answered precisely none of these questions, so I did the only sane thing; I threw them out.
I ate Kung Pao Chicken without the peanuts this time around. I am less than happy about this.
Honest to peat, we need some kind of centralized food regulatory agency, not piecemeal FDA-USDA-ATF-whatever. We need to have one department in charge of everything, and we need to make sure that the places we get our food from are inspected regularly, from family farms to packing plants. This shouldn't be that hard, and I for one would be happy to pay a little bit more per package of Kung Pao Chicken kit if it meant that I was confident enough in the peanuts so that I could have peanuts in my Kung Pao Chicken!
Who's with me?!?
First, they closed another peanut plant down in Texas. This one made roasted and granulated peanuts as well as peanut butter.
Second, I made Kung Pao Chicken for dinner- it was one of those kits. And in the kit was a bag of dry roasted peanuts that I was supposed to cook in the stir fry with the chillies. The two threads of that conversation came together in my brain as I pulled them out of the package, the chicken and veggies already cooking on the stove.
Where did they come from? Were they part of this Peanut Corporation deal? Where were they grown? Where were they roasted? Was the factory safe? A glance at the label answered precisely none of these questions, so I did the only sane thing; I threw them out.
I ate Kung Pao Chicken without the peanuts this time around. I am less than happy about this.
Honest to peat, we need some kind of centralized food regulatory agency, not piecemeal FDA-USDA-ATF-whatever. We need to have one department in charge of everything, and we need to make sure that the places we get our food from are inspected regularly, from family farms to packing plants. This shouldn't be that hard, and I for one would be happy to pay a little bit more per package of Kung Pao Chicken kit if it meant that I was confident enough in the peanuts so that I could have peanuts in my Kung Pao Chicken!
Who's with me?!?
The Angry Geologist is a Political Animal
Feb. 10th, 2009 07:47 amOkay, so I was kind of cheesed off during that last entry about the stimulus. And I did something more about it than bitch on the internet.
I went and looked up my Senators- one was already voting for it, so whatever, but the other one, of course is Arlen Specter, who had actually spoken against the bill. I wrote him a very long email detailing why I thought the pork concerns were so much bull hockey, and pass the bill already.
He was one of the three Republicans that voted for cloture yesterday.
Huh.
Damn.
Is this what having a representative government feels like?
I went and looked up my Senators- one was already voting for it, so whatever, but the other one, of course is Arlen Specter, who had actually spoken against the bill. I wrote him a very long email detailing why I thought the pork concerns were so much bull hockey, and pass the bill already.
He was one of the three Republicans that voted for cloture yesterday.
Huh.
Damn.
Is this what having a representative government feels like?
OK- I won't lie. In my field, I'd probably see a pretty big benefit from the current stimulus package. I'm rooting for it to pass in its current form for selfish reasons. I want to have a job, and I want my friends to keep theirs. Some people think it's too heavy on "pork."
But let's take a look at what's being labeled pork:
You can basically organize it into categories based on what Republicans hate. For example, there's the "Fuck public safety" category, in which the $10 million for urban canals and the $100 million to reduce lead paint hazards fall. Then, there's the "Fuck science" category- the $150 million for the Smithsonian and the $412 million for the CDC fits into this one quite nicely. Then there's the favorite "Fuck poor people" category, where we find most of these items, but especially the $1.4 billion for rural waste disposal (read: how DARE those hicks demand to not marinate in their own filth!), $25 million for tribal anti-addiction programs, and $1.2 billion for youth summer job programs. But really, all of these objections can fit into one big box, which sums up the current Republican party's motto pretty well:
"Fuck responsibility."
But let's take a look at what's being labeled pork:
You can basically organize it into categories based on what Republicans hate. For example, there's the "Fuck public safety" category, in which the $10 million for urban canals and the $100 million to reduce lead paint hazards fall. Then, there's the "Fuck science" category- the $150 million for the Smithsonian and the $412 million for the CDC fits into this one quite nicely. Then there's the favorite "Fuck poor people" category, where we find most of these items, but especially the $1.4 billion for rural waste disposal (read: how DARE those hicks demand to not marinate in their own filth!), $25 million for tribal anti-addiction programs, and $1.2 billion for youth summer job programs. But really, all of these objections can fit into one big box, which sums up the current Republican party's motto pretty well:
"Fuck responsibility."
The Angry Geologist and the Secret Society
Feb. 3rd, 2009 08:00 amLast night, I had tea with Robert Oppenheimer, Ghandi, and another gentleman I don't recognize in front of the Mauna Kea Observatory. They invited me to join some sort of secret society dedicated to the betterment of mankind. Or something like that.
I have really freakin' weird dreams sometimes.
I have really freakin' weird dreams sometimes.
Well, I'm going to do it. There's absolutely no excuse this year. Barring a catastrophe, I'm financially secure and should be for months, Friday's disaster notwithstanding because a client dicking us over is NOT MY FAULT.
*ahem* Not that I'm upset about that or anything.
To continue.
Yes, now there is truly no excuse. I have money, and I don't even have to travel far for it. It's something I've been wanting to do for a while, and putting off for many, many reasons, but it's finally going to get done. God save us.
I am going to a CON!
Buying my badge tomorrow after work. :)
*ahem* Not that I'm upset about that or anything.
To continue.
Yes, now there is truly no excuse. I have money, and I don't even have to travel far for it. It's something I've been wanting to do for a while, and putting off for many, many reasons, but it's finally going to get done. God save us.
I am going to a CON!
Buying my badge tomorrow after work. :)
Blatant Plug for a Cool Company
Jan. 29th, 2009 06:47 amLike American Apparel's ethic of not using sweatshops, but hate the fact that buying their clothes puts money into the pocket of a misogynistic prick? Well, fear not, because No Sweat gives you another choice!
Seriously- quality designs. I may pick up the valentines shirt after payday. And low-guilt, too!
Seriously- quality designs. I may pick up the valentines shirt after payday. And low-guilt, too!
Someone Talk Me Out of This!
Jan. 28th, 2009 04:28 pmToday, I thought about a Ph.D in computational physics.
D:
Someone, please tell me why this is a bad idea?
D:
Someone, please tell me why this is a bad idea?
Because I Missed Blog for Choice Day
Jan. 23rd, 2009 07:16 pmI'm not sure whether to feel more psyched about the current President (Barack Hussein Obama- can't say that enough), or to be sad that I'm psyched because he's actually a decent guy who is getting things done.
He has been President for... mmm... about two and a half days as of this writing. I believed he'd do the job, but this country has been so frakked up for so long that I didn't figure on seeing things done until sometime in late August- and that would have been best-case scenario, miraculous just short of finding a unicorn on my front doorstep.
So far, he's signed orders to close Gitmo and other CIA prisons, end "enhanced interrogation techniques", and repeal the Global Gag Rule.
Anyone know if unicorn poop makes good fertilizer? I'd imagine, but I'm not sure the dryads it would attract would be happy in this neighborhood- the trees are all too tiny. I suppose they could live down in the valley...
He has been President for... mmm... about two and a half days as of this writing. I believed he'd do the job, but this country has been so frakked up for so long that I didn't figure on seeing things done until sometime in late August- and that would have been best-case scenario, miraculous just short of finding a unicorn on my front doorstep.
So far, he's signed orders to close Gitmo and other CIA prisons, end "enhanced interrogation techniques", and repeal the Global Gag Rule.
Anyone know if unicorn poop makes good fertilizer? I'd imagine, but I'm not sure the dryads it would attract would be happy in this neighborhood- the trees are all too tiny. I suppose they could live down in the valley...
The Angry Geologist Goes to the Opera
Jan. 17th, 2009 09:00 pmWell, she listened to it in the car, anyway.
The local NPR station has recently readjusted their weekend schedule so that they play opera on Saturdays at about the time when, if it's a transport weekend, I'm going 65 mph down the highway with a car full of dogs. This weekend was such a weekend- it almost wasn't, but my car eventually warmed up enough for me to be able to shift it out of park. I had five dogs in the car, the most frightened of which was riding shotgun and flinching at every overhead shadow. Poor thing was trying to hide under my hand half the time, and behind me the other half, which isn't that great when you're trying to maintain highway speed. After about twenty miles of this, the poor baby finally calmed down, gave me a couple of kisses, and went to sleep for the rest of the ride. By this time, weekend edition was over, and I was kind of surprised I wasn't hearing Click and Clack. Instead the Saturday Matinee Broadcast from the Metropolitan Opera was playing.
I might have changed the channel, if it hadn't been for the show that was featured: Doctor Atomic, the story of the Manhattan Project.
Those of you who are wondering why I might possibly find this interesting need to take a trip through the archives and brush up on your critical reading skills.
I listened to the whole thing- the WHOLE thing, all the way through. I sat in my car for an extra half hour to catch the end because I couldn't tear myself away. I couldn't not listen. I had to see it through. People who are smarter than me say that the end of the first act, where Oppenheimer is pleading for a personal reckoning with God through poetry, is the high point, but not for me. It was the end that kept me in that freezing vehicle, waiting for the blast, long after I had turned the engine off just because I didn't want to miss it. The emotions in that last half hour rip the bones from you. And half the information was missing from the broadcast- if I felt that way listening to it in my car, imagine what it would be like live...
Even if you don't do opera, if you get the chance to see Doctor Atomic, jump at it. You will not regret it. And if this caliber of programming is consistently reached on the local NPR, my transport-day radio will be still glued there.
The local NPR station has recently readjusted their weekend schedule so that they play opera on Saturdays at about the time when, if it's a transport weekend, I'm going 65 mph down the highway with a car full of dogs. This weekend was such a weekend- it almost wasn't, but my car eventually warmed up enough for me to be able to shift it out of park. I had five dogs in the car, the most frightened of which was riding shotgun and flinching at every overhead shadow. Poor thing was trying to hide under my hand half the time, and behind me the other half, which isn't that great when you're trying to maintain highway speed. After about twenty miles of this, the poor baby finally calmed down, gave me a couple of kisses, and went to sleep for the rest of the ride. By this time, weekend edition was over, and I was kind of surprised I wasn't hearing Click and Clack. Instead the Saturday Matinee Broadcast from the Metropolitan Opera was playing.
I might have changed the channel, if it hadn't been for the show that was featured: Doctor Atomic, the story of the Manhattan Project.
Those of you who are wondering why I might possibly find this interesting need to take a trip through the archives and brush up on your critical reading skills.
I listened to the whole thing- the WHOLE thing, all the way through. I sat in my car for an extra half hour to catch the end because I couldn't tear myself away. I couldn't not listen. I had to see it through. People who are smarter than me say that the end of the first act, where Oppenheimer is pleading for a personal reckoning with God through poetry, is the high point, but not for me. It was the end that kept me in that freezing vehicle, waiting for the blast, long after I had turned the engine off just because I didn't want to miss it. The emotions in that last half hour rip the bones from you. And half the information was missing from the broadcast- if I felt that way listening to it in my car, imagine what it would be like live...
Even if you don't do opera, if you get the chance to see Doctor Atomic, jump at it. You will not regret it. And if this caliber of programming is consistently reached on the local NPR, my transport-day radio will be still glued there.
The Angry Geologist Rides the Wavelength
Jan. 16th, 2009 11:14 pmI started watching BSG back in grad school, mostly with my other geeky friends who while we did get invited to the cool geeky parties, we were often the four or five Ubergeeks sitting on a couch talking about Jungian archetypes in heavy metal or some weird crap like that. Some of us have moved on to bigger and better(?) things, and some of us are still getting hosed by our committees.
I called L, the ringleader of the group about three seconds after the credits started rolling after the episode last night. The conversation went something like this:
( Cut for Spoilers, Speculation, and Exclamation Point Abuse )
It's nice to have friends that speak the same language.
I called L, the ringleader of the group about three seconds after the credits started rolling after the episode last night. The conversation went something like this:
( Cut for Spoilers, Speculation, and Exclamation Point Abuse )
It's nice to have friends that speak the same language.
Makin' stuff
Jan. 16th, 2009 09:55 pmThe first n people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you.
This offer does have some restrictions and limitations (because love is never unconditional):
- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
- What I create will be just for you.
- It'll be done this year.
- You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a story. It may be poetry. I may draw or paint something. I may bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure! At least...until I spill the beans, because I suck at surprises.
- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange. It may be a YouTube of an interpretive dance.
The catch? Oh, the catch is that you have to put this in your journal as well. We all can make stuff! Yay!
Oh, and if you want me to send you something...ya kinda have to e-mail me your address.
This offer does have some restrictions and limitations (because love is never unconditional):
- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
- What I create will be just for you.
- It'll be done this year.
- You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a story. It may be poetry. I may draw or paint something. I may bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure! At least...until I spill the beans, because I suck at surprises.
- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange. It may be a YouTube of an interpretive dance.
The catch? Oh, the catch is that you have to put this in your journal as well. We all can make stuff! Yay!
Oh, and if you want me to send you something...ya kinda have to e-mail me your address.
Tales of the Beagle
Jan. 13th, 2009 06:00 pmI brought home a fresh bag of dog food today. I emptied it into the rubbermaid container I have for it, and set the bag by the door for later, because Roland was throwing a hissy fit in his crate.
I've been watching him nose around the inside of the empty bag for the last twenty minutes. It's quite amusing.
I've been watching him nose around the inside of the empty bag for the last twenty minutes. It's quite amusing.
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Last Post of the Year
Dec. 31st, 2008 11:48 pmLooks like all I've got to show for it is a kickass President-Elect, $4,000, disaffection with my job, and a Jetta with a busted alternator.
2008, don't let the door hit 'ya on the way out.
Happy New Year!
2008, don't let the door hit 'ya on the way out.
Happy New Year!
The Angry Geologist vs. December
Dec. 15th, 2008 07:29 pmDark at five 'o' clock? Check.
Friends punk out on you for New Years? Check.
Holiday party suck? Check.
Haven't done hardly any Christmas shopping? Check.
Can't afford to? Check.
Alumni trip get canceled or postponed until February after you told everyone you were going? Check, check and check.
Lost gym card and can't get motivated to find it? Double check.
December 21st can't come fast enough.
Edit: Found the gym card and did a little bit of Christmas shopping. Still can't really afford to, but that's the way it goes. I hope my brother likes that $40 worth of comic book trade paperbacks... Persepolis is for class (and I may have to buy it off him after he's done), Pride of Baghdad is one I thought he'd like.
Friends punk out on you for New Years? Check.
Holiday party suck? Check.
Haven't done hardly any Christmas shopping? Check.
Can't afford to? Check.
Alumni trip get canceled or postponed until February after you told everyone you were going? Check, check and check.
Lost gym card and can't get motivated to find it? Double check.
December 21st can't come fast enough.
Edit: Found the gym card and did a little bit of Christmas shopping. Still can't really afford to, but that's the way it goes. I hope my brother likes that $40 worth of comic book trade paperbacks... Persepolis is for class (and I may have to buy it off him after he's done), Pride of Baghdad is one I thought he'd like.
That Things I Have Done Meme
Dec. 1st, 2008 06:14 pm1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain (see picture)
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumping
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child (I doubt dogs count)
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb (I was a kid and I don't remember it, but there is photographic evidence)
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language (in progress- Cantonese)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkelling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud (on a daily basis as part of my job)
54. Gone to a drive-in theatre
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favourite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain (see picture)
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumping
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child (I doubt dogs count)
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb (I was a kid and I don't remember it, but there is photographic evidence)
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language (in progress- Cantonese)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkelling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud (on a daily basis as part of my job)
54. Gone to a drive-in theatre
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favourite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day
I was out this morning with Roland for our first Big Walk since he came back from the boarding kennel. I visited my parents over Thanksgiving, and their house is not exactly dog-proof; also, mass transportation is not dog-friendly. He was really excited to be home, and spent the first ten minutes doing laps around my apartment and depositing a fresh layer of dog hair.
We were on our normal route when all of a sudden, he darted in front of me, tail up, fur standing on end, and doing what I like to call the war dance. I looked down the path; I saw nothing but a discarded plant by the side of the path, but Roland’s behavior made me nervous. I tried to turn around, but my brave little beagle would have none of it; in his little doggie brain, something had invaded his territory and threatened his human, and there was going to be hell to pay. He put his head down and pulled me toward the offending thing.
It was the dead plant; as I got closer, I could see that it was some kind of viny thing that might have been a fuchsia at one point, but that obviously didn’t click in Roland’s brain, because he was now stalking it. Yes, my dog, fur on end, tail up, head down, was trying to sneak up on deceased vegetation. “Roland. It’s a plant,” I said. “A dead one at that! It’s not going anywhere!” Roland has a limited command of English, because he was unconvinced that it was anything but a groundhog-sized brown block of doom that was going to eat him and me in one bite, Audrey II -style, the moment his back was turned.
I think the mighty hunter was surprised that he managed to sneak up on a dead plant, because he took his time investigating it. He stuck his nose out for a sniff more cautiously than I’d ever seen him act. Suddenly, he bolted like a startled sheep, running through the mud puddle to our left and hitting the end of the leash so hard it almost jerked his legs out from underneath him. When he realized that the dead plant wasn’t chasing, he worked up his courage and came back for another sniff, and another.
After the third sniff, he finally peed on it and strutted away more proud than I had ever seen him before, acting in stark contrast to the Angry Geologist nearly doubled over in laughter at the other end of the leash.
We were on our normal route when all of a sudden, he darted in front of me, tail up, fur standing on end, and doing what I like to call the war dance. I looked down the path; I saw nothing but a discarded plant by the side of the path, but Roland’s behavior made me nervous. I tried to turn around, but my brave little beagle would have none of it; in his little doggie brain, something had invaded his territory and threatened his human, and there was going to be hell to pay. He put his head down and pulled me toward the offending thing.
It was the dead plant; as I got closer, I could see that it was some kind of viny thing that might have been a fuchsia at one point, but that obviously didn’t click in Roland’s brain, because he was now stalking it. Yes, my dog, fur on end, tail up, head down, was trying to sneak up on deceased vegetation. “Roland. It’s a plant,” I said. “A dead one at that! It’s not going anywhere!” Roland has a limited command of English, because he was unconvinced that it was anything but a groundhog-sized brown block of doom that was going to eat him and me in one bite, Audrey II -style, the moment his back was turned.
I think the mighty hunter was surprised that he managed to sneak up on a dead plant, because he took his time investigating it. He stuck his nose out for a sniff more cautiously than I’d ever seen him act. Suddenly, he bolted like a startled sheep, running through the mud puddle to our left and hitting the end of the leash so hard it almost jerked his legs out from underneath him. When he realized that the dead plant wasn’t chasing, he worked up his courage and came back for another sniff, and another.
After the third sniff, he finally peed on it and strutted away more proud than I had ever seen him before, acting in stark contrast to the Angry Geologist nearly doubled over in laughter at the other end of the leash.
