The Angry Geologist has a Boot Error
Apr. 5th, 2008 07:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hertinknessMy brain missed a step in its boot sequence this morning. I am not sure if that had anything to do with the beers that I had last night, but I had better start drinking again and building up a tolerance if that's true.
Usually, I wake up rather quickly and efficiently. I don't get things like sleep paralysis or waking dreams, unless someone is in the room making noise and then I will talk to them. I'm not really asleep either because I can remember everything I say later.
This morning was a little bit different. Somehow, I woke up before the part of my brain that processes memories did, which meant that for about two minutes, I had no idea who I was. I also managed to wake up before the part of my brain that accounts for passage of time did, so it felt like an hour.
I can't remember (ha) all that much of it, but I remember trying to piece together information from my surroundings. Only problem was that I was still slightly dreaming, so my perception was a little wonky. For a moment I thought I was a carpenter, maybe a dog breeder because Roland was curled up at the foot of my bed.
I opened my eyes again; this time, everything had turned on in the right order, and I was waking up correctly. But I could remember what that felt like; my entire life up to this point was inaccessible, and while I didn't know what I had lost, I knew what I had lost. Is that what it's like to suffer a TBI? Did my grandmother feel this way after her stroke? Is this what Alzheimers patients feel like all the time?
I was in the craft store today after a lamp, and they had a display of lilac sprigs. I stared at that display for a very long time before I could move on.
Usually, I wake up rather quickly and efficiently. I don't get things like sleep paralysis or waking dreams, unless someone is in the room making noise and then I will talk to them. I'm not really asleep either because I can remember everything I say later.
This morning was a little bit different. Somehow, I woke up before the part of my brain that processes memories did, which meant that for about two minutes, I had no idea who I was. I also managed to wake up before the part of my brain that accounts for passage of time did, so it felt like an hour.
I can't remember (ha) all that much of it, but I remember trying to piece together information from my surroundings. Only problem was that I was still slightly dreaming, so my perception was a little wonky. For a moment I thought I was a carpenter, maybe a dog breeder because Roland was curled up at the foot of my bed.
I opened my eyes again; this time, everything had turned on in the right order, and I was waking up correctly. But I could remember what that felt like; my entire life up to this point was inaccessible, and while I didn't know what I had lost, I knew what I had lost. Is that what it's like to suffer a TBI? Did my grandmother feel this way after her stroke? Is this what Alzheimers patients feel like all the time?
I was in the craft store today after a lamp, and they had a display of lilac sprigs. I stared at that display for a very long time before I could move on.
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Date: 2008-04-08 12:15 am (UTC)As I'm currently in the habit of indulging my baser instincts, this rang true in my mind - "Yeah, build up tolerance... that's the only way to be a successful drinker!".
Is this what Alzheimers patients feel like all the time?
I dunno. My grandmother had Alzheimers and was relatively blissful in her ignorance, until someone reminded her that her husband was dead and that she was living in what amounted to a 24 hour adult day care. I don't think you know. Or, at least, by the time you might figure it out, you've forgotten about it anyway. That's what I hope for myself.